Several years ago, I wrote about emotions – what they are, why they are so important and how we might better manage them. In this letter I want to dive deeper into positive emotions and the important role they play in our lives. Experiencing more positive emotions not only makes us happier, positive emotions make us better friends, parents, teachers/students, employees/leaders … they make us better people. Positive emotions are markers of optimal well-being.

Emotions are short lived experiences that determine how we feel, think and act. They therefore play a critical role in our lives. The word “emotion” comes from the Greek word “emote” or “to move.” Seems right!

Don’t get me wrong, negative emotions play an important role in our lives … they keep us safe. Fear encourages us to avoid danger, anger to stand up for ourselves, disgust to expel something harmful, shame to change behavior that is inappropriate. But negative emotions are what psychologists called “sticky emotions,” meaning we hang on to them long after they have served their purpose. And when they hang around they cause us to experience what is known as “dirty pain.” Here is the thing, if you are attacked by a bear, fear is a helpful emotion. Fear narrows our focus, raises our heartrate and our blood pressure, causes adrenalin and a batch of other hormones to be released, all of which gives us a better chance of surviving. But many of us experience fear without the bear … without valid reason and those same responses now have some serious health consequences. What once saved us, now slowly kills us.

Positive emotions play an equally important role in our lives and most of us can benefit by experiencing more of them, more frequently. There is the sequence to positive emotions. We experience any number of positive emotions (joy, serenity, inspiration, love, etc.), we broaden our focus opening to new perspectives, we become more creative, more engaged, we become more considerate of others, we have more energy, our relationships are strengthened. There is a theory around this, it’s called the “Broaden and Build Theory” first put forth by Barbara Frederickson of University of Michigan.  The theory suggest we do better in most every regard when we experience more positive emotions. We are better at parenting, better at leading, we are better team members, we are better people when we experience more positive emotions.